Alcohol (ethanol) is a simple little chemical. It has two carbon atoms, six hydrogen atoms, and an oxygen atom. It doesn’t travel at speeds exceeding the speed of light and it doesn’t have the gravitational pull of a black hole… […]
This is the first chapter of the soon to be published “Lying Minds”
This is the second chapter of the soon to be published “Lying Minds”
As my recovery was strengthening I became acutely aware of the extent to which my mind was actively working against me. Even after I had summoned sufficient strength to fend off the cravings I still had to navigate my way […]
This is chapter three of the soon to be published “Lying Minds”
This is chapter four of the soon to be published “Lying Minds”
It is the reward system that drives addiction, but the consequences of regular and heavy drinking lead us to be not just addicted. Regular and heavy drinking causes changes in us, and most particularly changes in our brain and mind. […]
After the initial period of constantly fighting off cravings our recovery slowly settles down to be less demanding on a day-to-day basis until suddenly, out of the blue, we get hit by a huge craving. Just why these suddenly pop […]
I knew for a long time what happened if I didn’t drink in the evening… I wouldn’t sleep. But what I didn’t realise was that this only showed me one of several changes that had occurred in my brain and […]
I don’t get rattled often these days, but here’s something that gets me frustrated. I often read in recovery blogs, notice-boards, chat-rooms and online communities … “I drank because…” and usually what follows this rattles me. It troubles me and […]
Why we’ve ended up in this position is a question that haunts us. It is as though knowing the answer will absolve us of the awful things we’ve done. But knowing the answer ultimately changes nothing; we are alcoholics, and […]
Relapse is a crushing and confusing experience. Stopping drinking is hard and I never understood quite how hard it was until I tried. It’s hard because sometimes the test can be ferocious, and sometimes it can be devious… my addiction kept finding new ways to challenge me. Until I realised just how hard it was, and how devious it could be, I didn’t bring enough to the attempt… that’s my experience. But relapse isn’t failure, it is education.
Cravings are an urgent sense of wanting, desire or longing for. They have no words, sound or shape; they are an intense feeling without form. Cravings may appear to come and go in a fickle manner, but they don’t come […]
When we try to stop drinking we are confronted by many challenges. We have to overcome incredibly powerful cravings of course, but there is far more. Our daily routines have to change, people we associate with have to change, and […]
This post continues from Relapse! Relapse comes in many shapes and sizes. The first relapses we endured were failures to limit our drinking when we wanted to… e.g. “I’ll only have a couple”. It was when we realised that we […]