Shame is a soul eating emotion. We often bundle shame and guilt together, but there’s a distinct difference between the two: shame is when we think “I am bad”, and guilt means “I did something bad.” But there’s something else […]
The book Lying Minds is soon to be published but anyone is most welcome to read the individual chapters here. Please respect that this is copyright material. Nobody chooses to become an alcoholic. Alcoholics do not drink because they are […]
Alcohol (ethanol) is a simple little chemical. It has two carbon atoms, six hydrogen atoms, and an oxygen atom. It doesn’t travel at speeds exceeding the speed of light and it doesn’t have the gravitational pull of a black hole… […]
While I may have understood at an intellectual level why stopping drinking was essential, my heart wasn’t in it. In my mind I can evaluate all the information: drinking makes me miserable, causes all sorts of problems, and will if […]
By far the most likely time to relapse is in the first two weeks after stopping drinking. But relapse after 100 or so days is also extremely common. I want to talk about three aspects of relapse at this time […]
I carried on drinking excessively far, far longer than is rational. Normal drinkers around me looked on in despair; they couldn’t figure me out at all… and they couldn’t be expected to; their minds work completely differently to mine with […]
As my recovery was strengthening I became acutely aware of the extent to which my mind was actively working against me. Even after I had summoned sufficient strength to fend off the cravings I still had to navigate my way […]
Stopping drinking is hard. If you ever hear anyone say it isn’t then they either don’t understand the challenge or they’re trying to sell you something. It is so hard because it is not actually alcohol we are fighting it […]
There came a time that I realised my drinking had to end. It took far longer than I care to admit to come to one very simple realisation… that I could not control my drinking; I drank more than I […]
Stopping drinking is simple… all that’s required is that we don’t drink! But simple is not the same as easy. Stopping drinking is extremely difficult, and the reason that it is so difficult to stop drinking is that our entrapment […]
It is the reward system that drives addiction, but the consequences of regular and heavy drinking lead us to be not just addicted. Regular and heavy drinking causes changes in us, and most particularly changes in our brain and mind. […]
After the initial period of constantly fighting off cravings our recovery slowly settles down to be less demanding on a day-to-day basis until suddenly, out of the blue, we get hit by a huge craving. Just why these suddenly pop […]
I first got sober with AA, but I struggled with the whole God thing. As I looked down the 12 steps I could see that only ½ of them were available to me; the others needed a “higher power”, and […]
I knew for a long time what happened if I didn’t drink in the evening… I wouldn’t sleep. But what I didn’t realise was that this only showed me one of several changes that had occurred in my brain and […]
