“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called yesterday and the other is called tomorrow” (Dalai Lama)
I can’t change the past, and I can’t dictate the future. The past is fixed whether I like it or not. It is what it is, and the things I’ve said and done can’t be changed; they remain said and they remain done and this will always be so. I wasn’t trying to hurt people. I am a straightforward, honest and generous person without alcohol, but drinking made me nasty, and selfish. I did what I did because of drinking, but that doesn’t excuse it, it was still me that did those things. I am responsible, and all I can do is to try and put right the wrongs that I’ve done. We’d like instant forgiveness the moment we stop drinking, but trust is lost, and trust is not a simple commodity that can be given and taken, it has to be earned, and we have to re-earn that trust. I can only do this by becoming the person I should have been all along. I can’t do that in the past, and I can’t do it in the future. I can only do it today, now… right now in this instant we call the present. Today is the only point of contact with the world that I have any control over; it is the only moment in which I have choice.
My past is made up of tiny slices of what I did before. It is the sum of the deeds and words of the instants as they passed. Every day I had choices to make, and sometimes I chose poorly. My past is the consequences of those choices, good, bad and indifferent. It is fixed and can’t be changed, but my future is not yet fixed.
While I drank I made poor choices, disastrous choices, and hurtful choices… I rarely made good ones. I bore the consequences of those choices, but so did everyone close to me… I don’t want that happening again.
I can’t control the future, but I can change the odds. I do that by the choices I make right now… moment by moment… now. Now is the only moment I control and today is the only day that I can change the direction of my life.
What I have to do is the next right thing. Do that and my future prospects change for the better.
- Beware your thoughts, for they become your actions.
- Beware your actions, for they become your habits.
- Beware your habits, for they become your character.
- Beware your character, for it becomes your destiny.